Crimson Skies
by LovingYouAtFirstSight
Summary: Once upon a time Sirius liked Sunrises, now they are a reminded of the broken shell of a man he has become. Rated K(plus) for strong dark themes.


**A/N: Just a depressing (with a mild light ending) about Sirius Black and his time in Azkaban. I did not recent research on Azkaban for this fic. This is how I imagine it to be.**

… **.**

Sirius always had a soft spot for a good sunrise.

A long time ago, when he was barely a man, it would ignite in brilliant reds and oranges, reminding him they lasted another day. He would meet James long after the sun rose; they would laugh and act as if nothing could touch them.

They were so juvenile then.

Now, when Sirius is no longer just a man, but a shell of existence, he has begun to loathe sunrises. They no longer bring the hopeful warmth, but rather a bitter dreaded cold. They no longer build expectations of winning but invoke acceptance of losing. Sirius never much liked losing.

It reminded him of those lost, of that dreaded day, when the sun rose and Sirius was un-questionably happy. A useless friend he was then, no better now.

Sirius no longer knows how to sleep through sunrises; it was once a guilty pleasure. Knowing those he loved were safe and he had the sleep to prove it. Now he watched from the tiny gaps in the roof as the room filled with crimson beams of light. It was these moments that would hurt him. He would twist and turn in agony, he would scream at the top of his lungs for the things he had done wrong. He would apologise through a thick wall of tears.

It was these moments, when the anger had subdued and the tears had stopped flowing that he would pray. He was not stupid in believing he could pray for forgiveness or freedom. Sirius would pray that the sun would not rise for another day.

Some days he was granted his wish as dark black clouds rolled over the sky and blocked the sun. These were better days, days Sirius could sleep, days he could finally regain strength. But they happened less often than he would have liked.

When the hurt and pain and despair were at its worse he would not flinch at the beings floating down the halls to him. He would not fight away their fear that buried deep into him. He wouldn't even change into Padfoot on these days.

He was a broken man, a joke compared to who he once was. Then one day, when he had let the creature remove every last good feeling he had he looked up at the cracks in the wall.

There were again beams of bright crimson lights beaming into the room. Sirius could feel fear press to his chest, sunrise was early, and surely a whole day had not past. He did not have the strength to do this again; he was ready to accept his fate when it clicked. This was sunset.

He could see the darkness as it faded the light around the edges until finally it was as black as his name. Sirius sighed with relief as the cell grew warmer and some of his negative feelings dissipated. He sat up and stared around the cell, it was for the first time in months, quiet.

Sirius had not been awake for this moment of the day in a very long time, he would have been passed out and ready to take on another sunrise, but nothing prepared him for the freedom he felt when the sun went down.

Sirius' life was no longer about surviving the night and taking on the day. He finally realised it was about surviving the day, conquering the fear, and watching sunsets.

Sirius let himself smile for the first time in months and could feel the bark of Padfoot rumble through him. He was, for at least now, happy.

He had his saving grace to keep him going, even if it was as simple as a sunset.

…

 **Important! – For SiriusBlackRose – Who would like more stories about a tormented Sirius Black.**

 **For Hogwarts Online Defence Against the Dark Arts –** **Write about happiness in the dark. This is effectively a situation far lighter during a time of very dark events.**

 **For Mage Maraduers Challenge – Write some of Sirius' thoughts in Azkaban**

 **For Title Bootcamp – Crimson Skies**

 **For If You Dare Challenge – Psychological**

 **For Ten Times Ten Challenge – List #4: #9 Dementor**

 **For Mega Song Lyrics Challenge - #2 "The rain came pouring down when I was drowning; that's when I could finally breathe," Taylor Swift, Clean**


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